Les Papillons

Darling I’ll never stop admiring your strength

We had to cry for you because you never did

Dad was concerned by how you chose to cope

Now you’re running careless as if you’ve never known pain

My dear you’ve already encountered the worst of the caterpillars

and now you can know butterflies


Adults have a habit of talking about “adult things”

and saying I’ll tell you when you’re older

But when you’re older

I know I’ll never tell you about the times I’d run to the bathroom after French and before art

once or twice a week

to wipe away the fear from my eyes

I’ll never tell you

about everyone that hugged me on the tennis court

when I let out paralyzing sobs for you

in the middle of a match


I know when you’re older

Dad will never tell you about his sister

and how she didn’t call

I’ll never tell you

I felt guilty about eating after visiting you

when the doctors wouldn’t let you eat for two days

I’ll never tell you

I still can’t brush my hair without thinking about the collection you started

of hair they had to cut short

so it wouldn’t be as scary watching it leave you


Dad tells me now

The cancer cells have left your body

the days of holding our breath are over

I don’t have to wait till you’re older to tell you

I love you more than you love chocolate chip pancakes and fuzzy pajamas

And watching butterflies fly free


à bientôt




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